On the rare occasion I let myself dream.
I was dropping by an address I had never been to before and
No one was home.
Picking my way to the back of the house and
Up the stairs to the back porch that curved around
I peeked in the window.
My first instinct was to look away because
It’s the kind of kitchen I will never have.
It is beautiful.
Cabinets up to here and windows over to there.
The kind of kitchen with plenty of room for
All the toddlers.
A place for a table covered with lesson work
Piles of chairs for children’s lunch parties and
Knitting while you wait for the water to boil.
I imagined us in there for just a moment before
Ringing the bell one last time and