dark beloved cloud.

For the first time in three years of our family attending the local fair, I allowed myself to be dragged along. Fairs are equivalent to night clubs to my tender (jaded?) soul. I see drunks, overflowing toilets and trash.

It was raining and the whole thing is just a little too expensive for my tastes. But my children were enthused. In fact my four year old was beaming. I forced smiles and laughter while catching Husband’s eye with the look of how long must this hell be endured? when I remembered this lyric…..

I want you to know I love you
But my love is like a dark cloud full of rain
That’s always right there up above you

It’s from See America Right by the Mountain Goats.

Suck it up, I reminded myself. Just because you hate fairs and all things fun doesn’t mean your children must.

I’m the primary homelearning motivator here.  My children spend most of their time in my company and I didn’t sign up for this gig to grumble. So I ate some doughnuts, bought cotton candy and lightened up.

It’s not easy keeping up the positive. Some days I want to be that dark beloved cloud (the label doesn’t have anything to do with it) that blots out the sun and withers the plants. And some days I think I am. But it’s not all about me.


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