the long night.

It only gets lighter from here.

Photos from the shortest day.

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I am most grateful to myself for canning in the summer. Decorated with these lovely gift tags. The shortest day is not conducive to frantic gift making.

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I rearrange. In a state of constant overwhelm I decide all of these decorations littering the home must have something to do with it. No one has missed the others squirreled away in a box, yet.

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I flounder, I fall, my eyes well up a few times. And I take nearly all the decorations off the tree. They have been unceremoniously rearranged by toddler hands and stuffed all the way near the trunk of the tree more than once. This year when I need some visual peace the most we will have a few handmade wooden medallions  and real candles for a night or two along with a strand of lights. 

The shortest day took on the characteristics of the longest day. I hear no more giggles from the back bedroom and so the show must really be put to bed. Finally. This morning we handed round the hat , these hats and three of these hats as my family’s warmth gifts and capped the day off with our favorite solstice story, Mid Winter Journey from Enki. A toddler falling asleep in my arms, a ten year old that has now heard this story for six years unable to resist singing the song embedded in the story. I see a bell ring and a lightbulb turn on when the seven year old remembers those words, forgotten every year till winter and my sweet wide eyed five year old singing a word here and there. Worth the bother of wiping avocados off of nearly every surface in the kitchen before we belatedly began bedtime, an unrushed Mama. I feel like maybe we can blunder through the next few days. While making the executive decision not making the Christmas crackers this year, I may have been wheedled in to making a Hobbit gingerbread house.

Long extended outbreath to last me this long icy night.

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